Opportunity

My FaceBook status on Wednesday afternoon read as such:

"Michelle Lewis has been given the opportunity to start a much more forceful workout regime starting tomorrow! Bye Bye flab ... Heeeelllloooo FAB!!"

Well that is how I am viewing the negative pregnancy test results that I got ... as an OPPORTUNITY.

It is no secret that Steve and I have been actively attempting to conceive baby #2 for the past 4.5 years. We have not taken any steps toward medical intervention and don't intend to. I am fully aware that there are several things in my life that I need to change in order to increase our chances of conception. However like a lot of people I am a creature of habit, and a bit lazy when it come to sticking with a routine.

I had allowed myself to get hopeful this month, which I have been very protected against for many years. I had experienced all the early symptoms and was soooo sure that I wasn't wrong this time. I have many friends who are expecting or have just given birth and the excitement just sort of carried me away.

So here I sit feeling disappointed, yet again... bitter at all the people who are able to conceive just thinking about having sex and frustrated with all the other emotions that are involved in this whole process. Which by the way are to many to write about. I am and will be fine. I am only human however and not seeing a plus symbol just really sucked. Today I allowed myself to be emotional and tomorrow I will move on. I do not wish to invoke any kind of sympathy, I just felt like explaining myself and sharing a little.

I am truly happy for each of my friends who are expecting or just became mothers. It is so wonderful and exciting! I wish I could be experiencing it again for myself with them.

Now to explain how a workout regime is my positive twist to this rather pissy situation. I 'm looking at it like this: I have a vision of what I want my next pregnancy to be like and the current state of my physical body does not fit in that vision, literally it doesn't fit ... I'm overweight. If I made my vision board to scale it would be scary. So, in order for there to be less of me to love, I need to start a workout regime and a better diet plan. This will benefit both my physical ability to conceive and my mental vision of how I want to look and feel while pregnant. As well as a long list of other health benefits.

Because I am not pregnant at this moment, I have the opportunity to be more forceful with my physical plan. I do not have to worry about the stress level on my body in regards to a pregnancy, that is.

Well, I have a membership to the YMCA and the one in Parkville is great. I am blessed to have a very flexible schedule and Jacob loves to spend time in the kids play area that they provide. So together Jacob and I are going to slowly work our way up to 1 hour 5 days a week. I have already meet with a trainer and have a machine guided plan that will give a great overall body workout, followed by mindless walking on the treadmill while I watch HGTV or the FoodNetwork! Jacob also loves to swim, so we plan on hitting the pool at least once a week.

I am not giving up on the idea of more children I am just choosing to focus on what I can do now to make the pregnancy even better for me when it does finally happen. :)