39 Weeks and 2 days

I am done.
The baby is not, but I am done.
I have become completely disenchanted with the wonder and excitement that is pregnancy.
I feel physically fine, there is nothing wrong with me or the baby.
I have been very blessed to have a friend who provided me with a special pillow that has made sleeping much easier. So I am well rested with no complaints.

I am impatient and cranky and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change it.
Everyday that passes without going into labor just makes me even more frustrated.
All my relaxation techniques only keep me from killing all the people around me. They are not working to make me any more patient or calm regarding the pregnancy.

When I hear people kindly say "the baby will be here soon" or "it could be any day now" or "your precious little one is on it's way" I just want to vomit on them.

I know this baby will be born. It is impossible to stay pregnant forever. However having that knowledge does not make any difference in the way I feel at this moment.

Unfortunately for my sanity I have chosen to believe that natural is the correct way. Which means that I have absolutely no choice but to wait until the baby decides it is time to be born. Which is the correct way to do it. Although, just because it is right doesn't make it easy. If I used mainstream medical doctors I could have asked for a chemical induction 2 days ago and they would have given it to me with no problem. It is unfortunate for me to be a naturalist and be so impatient. It makes life frustrating at times like these.

I normally try to maintain an upbeat positive attitude about things, however today I am just not feeling it and I am being honest about my frustration.

I will live. This child will be born eventually. I will be happy and excited on the day it actually happens. But today I'm cranky.

38 Weeks

We are ready and waiting, somewhat patiently, for the arrival of Baby Lewis #2.

I have completed all the things on my personal list that I wanted to do before the baby got here. Which were: maternity photos, created a belly cast (as seen in the photo; it still needs to be sanded and painted), read all the books I wanted to about home birth and natural birth, keep a journal of the pregnancy, start writing a book, create a video documentary (still in progress), created a birth plan and emailed it to everyone who is going to be involved, and the list goes on. I am very pleased with my personal success during this pregnancy.

I had my 38 week appointment with my midwife on Wednesday and everything is going great. She said that the baby has dropped and it is in the optimal alignment for birthing. She also seems to think that I will go to full term. Which means I will have to wait another 2 weeks or so before the baby decides to make an appearance. Have I mentioned that I have not had a single person try to look up my parts during this whole pregnancy. Oh my heavens it has been awesome! Seriously, just that fact alone is enough to convince me to use a home birth midwife over a medicalized hospital birth. If I were seeing a mainstream OB I would have been poked and prodded like a cow a hundred times by now. I have had no unnecessary testing, no needles for blood draws, no stress about "what could go wrong" or "just in case" medications. This pregnancy experience has been awesome! The freedom and peace of mind that a midwife can give is out of this world.

I feel great. There is really nothing for me to complain about. I do have a little difficulty getting around just because of my size, but that is normal at this stage. I am sleeping fine thanks to Jeni who gave me the most awesome pregnancy pillow!

Steve is going to help me do one more set of photos before the baby gets here so we have photo records of how big I have gotten.

Jacob is still excited about the whole thing. He has started to ask "When is the baby going to come out". He wants me to be able to give him an exact date. I wish I could but that is not how natural birth works. He is being very patient. He is also finally heavy enough to help me get off the sofa. If I hold his hands and he falls backwards his body weight is enough to pull me forward. It's pretty funny to watch, but it is helpful when no other adults are around. :)

My next blog should be about the birth, unless I get frisky and add a post about the baby shower, which is tomorrow!

For now I am just waiting .....