I am done.
The baby is not, but I am done.
I have become completely disenchanted with the wonder and excitement that is pregnancy.
I feel physically fine, there is nothing wrong with me or the baby.
I have been very blessed to have a friend who provided me with a special pillow that has made sleeping much easier. So I am well rested with no complaints.
I am impatient and cranky and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change it.
Everyday that passes without going into labor just makes me even more frustrated.
All my relaxation techniques only keep me from killing all the people around me. They are not working to make me any more patient or calm regarding the pregnancy.
When I hear people kindly say "the baby will be here soon" or "it could be any day now" or "your precious little one is on it's way" I just want to vomit on them.
I know this baby will be born. It is impossible to stay pregnant forever. However having that knowledge does not make any difference in the way I feel at this moment.
Unfortunately for my sanity I have chosen to believe that natural is the correct way. Which means that I have absolutely no choice but to wait until the baby decides it is time to be born. Which is the correct way to do it. Although, just because it is right doesn't make it easy. If I used mainstream medical doctors I could have asked for a chemical induction 2 days ago and they would have given it to me with no problem. It is unfortunate for me to be a naturalist and be so impatient. It makes life frustrating at times like these.
I normally try to maintain an upbeat positive attitude about things, however today I am just not feeling it and I am being honest about my frustration.
I will live. This child will be born eventually. I will be happy and excited on the day it actually happens. But today I'm cranky.
4 comments:
It is completely okay to be cranky! I know, the end is so sooooo hard. You're great! Best wishes to your family in the next couple of weeks, getting your precious little bundle here, and getting to know it.
oooh, when my last baby took forever to come I reserved the right be cranky. Thank you for your honesty!
I know how you feel. Cranky it is! Until this little one comes, it may be quite hard to be happy. I will pray that the baby comes very very soon. Good luck! I wish I was there to provide a bit of distraction. Love you!!!
Crank away! Heaven knows I was a real witch the last couple of weeks of my pregnancies! I drove evryone nuts!
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